Blood Sisters Part 3 — Is Amanda’s Guardian Mean, Crazy or Just Stupid?

Falling into the category of, “Making a Hard Loss Harder Than It Has To Be”:

#griefsucks #familysucksmore #guardianshipsucks #downsyndromedoesnotequalstupid

  1. Mean

Sees Amanda just lost her favorite brother, Jon. (Yep, sorry Ted, he is way ahead of you. I am sure she still loves and forgives you though. God knows why.) Despite this traumatic loss, denies her the right to grieve with her blood sister (that would be me), and Jon’s wife.

Knows he is abusing her in deep and indelible ways, and perhaps creating irreparable damage to her psyche. Doesn’t care.

2. Crazy:

Got religion. Thinks there is only one way to look at the world. Thinks there is only one religion that matters. Thinks he is now all knowing and all powerful. Thinks God will help him through this mess and God has given him the power of the guardianship so he can do whatever he wants with Amanda, including mentally tormenting her and treating her like a prisoner.

Thinks he will find all the answers in the Bible.

Jesus, who knows what he thinks?

3. Stupid:

  • See number 2.
  • Has no perception of the damage he is doing. Does not understand that people with Down syndrome form deep attachments and when these are ripped apart, they can be catapulted into a state of dementia.
  • Thinks Amanda does not need me and that he and Ruthie can fill my role.
  • Thinks Amanda will get over missing me because now she has them.
  • Thinks Amanda can be subdued and will forget about me if they give her enough pills.
  • Thinks she will “get used to” life without me.
  • Thinks Amanda is too dumb to understand or remember what they are doing to her.
  • Thinks Amanda does not harbor anger or resentment, and so it’s okay for him to do whatever, because she is a pussycat.
  • Thinks he knows better than anyone else what is best for Amanda.
  • Thinks Amanda has to learn a lesson that she can’t always have what she wants. Thinks this will be good for her.
  • Thinks he can teach me some kind of lesson by keeping us apart.
  • Thinks forcing her to stay away from me at gatherings, preventing her from having quality time with me, and attempting to destroy our history together by censoring language and memories does not constitute abuse.
  • Only mental professional involved (if there is one) is either a) his own evil sister Robin or b) some cult member of the same church.
  • Thinks only his own feelings matter.
  • Thinks Amanda looks good in ugly clothes.


None of these reasons are any excuse for abusing Amanda…. My blood sister.

And it doesn’t matter whether you like me or not. She does, and I am still her sister. #leaveusalone

Stop Guardianship Abuse



About Nancy J. Bailey

Artist, author, bad karaoke singer. Woodsy ragamuffin. Mom of a horse named Clifford who plays fetch and paints with watercolors. He visits libraries and schools with me, to promote literacy and making the world a better place. Yes, he is house trained, no, he doesn't live in my house! I have written three books about Clifford. But my newest book, THE NORTH SIDE OF DOWN, is co-written by my awesome sister Amanda, who has Down syndrome. Her unexpected one-liner wisecracks can always make me laugh. If you make me laugh, you've made my day!
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