Happy Siblings Day Amanda – Portrait Day 28 – Star Wars!

Amanda day 28 Star Wars.jpg

Meeting Harrison Ford is on Amanda’s bucket list. Beyond that, she is a tad obsessed with Star Wars. She can watch it ad nauseum. So, my gift to her this Sibling’s Day is a place in Hollywood History!

Amanda has Down syndrome and is currently being held by her guardian, a sibling who is not allowing us to have contact. On April 27 it will be 9 months since I have spoken with my sister. I have done portraits daily for the past 28 days waiting for some word from her. I received an Easter card. It is unlike her normal loquacious greetings, just simply signed with her name and says, “Happy Easter.”


This barely qualifies as communication from Amanda. However, I have to devote my time now to actual paid art (!), as well as preparing for the hearing May 2.

The hearing is going to be held in Sault Ste Marie in an attempt to modify this guardianship, and end this abusive sequestration.

This hearing is not going to be like the last one. I no longer have any reason to make nice with either of my brothers, or try to resolve any sort of friendship with them.  Anyone who treats Amanda this way does not deserve my friendship.

If Amanda is again refused a chance to speak her mind, at least meeting privately with the judge to ask for what she wants, then folks are going to be put on the stand. And I have plenty of documentation that will decry any lies. Therefore, siblings who do not wish to be thus confronted would be advised to avoid the courtroom. I do not take kindly to abuse of people with disabilities, those who commandeer their assets, or take advantage of elders. I also dislike it when people drink too much, indulge in violence, and cheat on their spouses.

Be advised that our book, The North Side of Down, begs a sequel!  This story will be told. The rule is simple: If you don’t want to go down in history as an asshole, then don’t be one.

It is time for this shameful abuse of power to end. I have endured death threats, slander, abusive contacts from ignorant relatives, and the list goes on. I am not afraid of any one of you.

Those who thought I would ever place their needs/wants ahead of Amanda’s is harboring way too high an opinion of themselves.

“I’m the guardian and you’re not.” That’s the reason her guardian gave when he refused Amanda’s request to visit me in summer 2016.

A few warning signals of guardianship abuse:

1. The guardian and/or conservator treats you as an outsider instead of a relative, friend, or loved one.

2. The guardian/conservator sees to it that your loved one doesn’t have a phone.

3. When you visit, the guardian “hovers” or even employs someone to hover so you’re not alone with your loved one.

4. You are denied input about your loved one’s care – the doctor won’t talk to you – you are shut out.

5. The guardian/conservator refuses to take your call or answer your questions.

6. Your loved one doesn’t get his/her mail.

7. If your loved one is in a nursing home, you’re only allowed to visit in the dining room or recreation room.

8. You start seeing questionable documents and realize financial accounts are closed or changed and the statements have been diverted to the guardian/conservator.

9. You discover the taxes haven’t been paid — or even filed.

10. The nursing facility tells you when you visit, you “upset” your family member or upset the staff.

11. Items are missing from your loved one’s home.

12. Your loved one appears to be more sluggish, perhaps even dazed.

The days of guardians running the show are coming to an end. There is help available.  Click the link below:


About Nancy J. Bailey

Artist, author, bad karaoke singer. Woodsy ragamuffin. Mom of a horse named Clifford who plays fetch and paints with watercolors. He visits libraries and schools with me, to promote literacy and making the world a better place. Yes, he is house trained, no, he doesn't live in my house! I have written three books about Clifford. But my newest book, THE NORTH SIDE OF DOWN, is co-written by my awesome sister Amanda, who has Down syndrome. Her unexpected one-liner wisecracks can always make me laugh. If you make me laugh, you've made my day!
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