Dear Amanda

Maybe someday I will get lucky and you will see this.

Or maybe someone will read it to you.

I just want you to know that, even if I never get to see you or talk to you again, (which it’s starting to look that way)  you are a great sister.

I went to the judge and asked him to look at our case. I was trying to get a Girl’s Day Out.


He wouldn’t listen to me.

I will keep trying, and I won’t give up on you, because you asked me to.

But the law is really messed up.

It lets a guardian do whatever he wants. If the guardian is mad at me, he doesn’t have to let us talk on the phone. Or visit. Or write. He can cut us off.

And that is what Ted has done.

And it’s legal because the court is allowing it.

The court is not looking out for you. That means you have to look out for yourself, because they will not allow me to do it anymore.

So there are a few things I want you to know:

There is nothing wrong with you.

None of this is your fault.

You are not handicapped.

You just have a disability.

blues sisters

It is unfortunate that the people around you ARE Handicapped.

They are selfish. They are greedy. They are simple minded. They think that money is more important than family.

They are wrong.

They don’t get it.

Don’t let them get to you.

Treat everyone how you want to be treated.

Don’t do things that you know will piss them off. Try to be considerate and try to remember they don’t understand much. You might spend some time explaining things in simple terms. Remember they are not as smart as you are.

I want to say thank you for all the good times we shared. I think about you every day, and you know I will always be with you in spirit.

Amanda and me at DeTour Harbor

You keep on writing. Don’t ever stop. You are really good at it.

I hope you keep your sense of humor, and remember not to take yourself, or your guardian, or anyone, too seriously.

You have to be patient with ignorant people.

Remember the signal! Ca-CAW! Ca-CAW!!!

Think of me. And I will think of you.

We will always be Blood Sisters.


I love you to the Moon and Back!!!

  • Nancy


“It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator.  All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear and speak no evil.  The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain.  The victim demands action, engagement and remembering.”

–Judy Herman

Trauma and Recovery
The aftermath of violence –
from domestic abuse to political terror
by Judith herman, M.D.  pp 7-8.


About Nancy J. Bailey

Artist, author, bad karaoke singer. Woodsy ragamuffin. Mom of a horse named Clifford who plays fetch and paints with watercolors. He visits libraries and schools with me, to promote literacy and making the world a better place. Yes, he is house trained, no, he doesn't live in my house! I have written three books about Clifford. But my newest book, THE NORTH SIDE OF DOWN, is co-written by my awesome sister Amanda, who has Down syndrome. Her unexpected one-liner wisecracks can always make me laugh. If you make me laugh, you've made my day!
This entry was posted in abuse, amanda, down syndrome, empathy. Bookmark the permalink.

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