Muskegon Tubing and Witches On the River

The lil ol’ Muskegon River is trending on Facebook today as 3 city girls from Muskegon Heights spent the whole night stranded after tubing on Tuesday.

The girls thought the river went in a circle, going on a conversation with someone where apparently there was a miscommunication, or perhaps they ran into a prankster. (Like someone who might tell tourists about the Porcupine Festival or Hot Air Balloon Rides on Drummond Island, or that the petting zoo closed when the coyotes had eaten all the animals.)

Possibly, someone had advised them of a hairpin turn where they would have to portage with their tubes a short distance in order to get back to starting point.

river rescue.jpg


We may never know what was said.

According to mLive, though, they “hugged trees” and screamed for help all night.

The young women were, of course, terrified, and my heart goes out to them. But who could help but partake in the fodder of comments that developed in the aftermath?


 “So much win in this article I don’t know where to start!” – MIxPlant

 “At first they wanted to go water skiing, but couldn’t find a lake with a hill in it.” –ailteoir

“No names? Condition of the tree? – daretohope
We are (at least momentarily) properly chagrined when NoAgendaFan chimes in.
“Everyone can get a good chuckle from this, but when you see the WZZM report you realize that these were three girls from Muskegon Heights who were interested in getting out of the city, but were ill informed.  The word there isn’t that the river “went in a circle” but that it took a sharp loop (an oxbow and they could basically get in an get out at the same place.  There certainly was probably some mistaking the Lazy River at MI-Adventure which is also in that general area (at least to three kids from Muskegon Heights).  People have to realize that kids in Muskegon Heights don’t have all of the opportunity to see the world outside of their neighborhoods.  My wife was working with a group from there and found that many of the kids hadn’t even seen Lake MI, even though its only 5 miles down Sherman Ave.  So make the jokes and what not, but these girls were trying to see something more than the devastation that belies their neighborhood and were given some bad information.”
I have to think back to Blair Witch Project. It was such a huge disappointment to me, because the whole scenario was brilliant — I loved the idea that it was made by a couple of college students who used real interviews, and the acting was pretty good too.

Photo by Blair Witch Project

I was all caught up in the story until I saw the main characters who were “lost”, hanging out by a river.
Uhm, hello?
Everybody knows when there’s a river, you are not lost. You are simply misplaced. You can follow a river in any direction and it will take you somewhere. It could be a while, but eventually you will find your way out of “lost.”
However, after reading this story, I have renewed respect for Blair Witch.
In much of modern media, the woods becomes the villain. I sometimes forget that a large percentage of the population is truly terrified when out in nature.
There really are people who don’t know enough to follow a river.

About Nancy J. Bailey

Artist, author, bad karaoke singer. Woodsy ragamuffin. Mom of a horse named Clifford who plays fetch and paints with watercolors. He visits libraries and schools with me, to promote literacy and making the world a better place. Yes, he is house trained, no, he doesn't live in my house! I have written three books about Clifford. But my newest book, THE NORTH SIDE OF DOWN, is co-written by my awesome sister Amanda, who has Down syndrome. Her unexpected one-liner wisecracks can always make me laugh. If you make me laugh, you've made my day!
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One Response to Muskegon Tubing and Witches On the River

  1. Pingback: Blair Witch The Sequel: Following the River Of Movie Mistakes?

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