Disturbing Things Online

Monday, January 21, 2008

Current mood: disappointed
Category: Romance and Relationships

Okay, I know some guys like porn. It’s a given.

Guys. Like. Porn.

*I* don’t understand it. But it’s kind of normal, I guess.

I was on a friend’s computer (he shall go nameless for obvious reasons). I’ll call him Warren. He was kind enough to let me use his PC because I am on dialup, and I was taking a course online and, well, getting nowhere at home.

I hit the history button because I couldn’t remember a URL (I am human, but not overly nosy by nature, and this really was an honest move), and all this porn came up.

Lots and lots of porn. And worse, NOTHING ELSE! It was ALL PORN, all the time! I could hardly find my website, through it all.

Naturally, I confronted Warren. I mean, who wouldn’t.

“I used to look at porn,” he admitted.

USED TO? Like, YESTERDAY?

I had a meeting with my friend Jack to discuss this. Jack is the guy who is a true friend, who gives me the man’s perspective on things. But when I mentioned one of the websites therein, namely BoneMyWife.com, he burst into hysterical laughter.

“Bone My Wife?” he said. “What is the sense in that? I mean, if he doesn’t want her, why would anyone else?”

He was practically weeping. I haven’t seen Jack laugh that hard in years.

Anyway… Back to the porn thing. I mean, with the Internet, the whole world is at your fingertips. Aren’t you interested in anything else? I mean it’s all right there! You can travel! You can get on Google Earth and pick your next destination spot. You can look up historical figures! You can read movie reviews! You can BLOG!

I might have to just let this go as one of those things I will never understand, lumping Warren in with the habitually unenlightened. It makes me kind of sad though.

And now his keyboard has cooties.

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About Nancy J. Bailey

Artist, author, bad karaoke singer. Woodsy ragamuffin. Mom of a horse named Clifford who plays fetch and paints with watercolors. He visits libraries and schools with me, to promote literacy and making the world a better place. Yes, he is house trained, no, he doesn't live in my house! I have written three books about Clifford. But my newest book, THE NORTH SIDE OF DOWN, is co-written by my awesome sister Amanda, who has Down syndrome. Her unexpected one-liner wisecracks can always make me laugh. If you make me laugh, you've made my day!
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4 Responses to Disturbing Things Online

  1. I agree with you. Maybe you can wear gloves while typing on the cootie keyboard.

    Like

  2. Linda says:

    Well, I don’t know much about the porn thing, but the world is defiantly at our fingertips. I saw you were on Facebook – where else are you?

    Like

  3. Gecko says:

    Yes…gloves, and glasses, and earmuffs! Perhaps a blindfold too? hehe

    Like

  4. Nancy says:

    Thanks for finding me on Facebook! Where else am I? All over… There are lots of links on this blog, but I googled myself recently and found more. No porn though… ;-p

    Like

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