My Fight With Technology

 

Clifford the Movie Star

Clifford the Horse, future movie star.

 

Filmmaking is not what you think.

For one thing, film is now defunct. I have sat in the basement of the University of Michigan, helping a friend go through reel by reel of old classics, some of them early prints of the original film. Singing In the Rain. It’s a Wonderful Life. The Road to Morocco. We are wiping each frame clean of lethal mold as the reel whirrs and spins and the strip slides obligingly onto another spool, only to be packed away into the can, labeled and shelved for an indefinite era.

Meanwhile, just like Spielberg, Hallstrom, and Ridley Scott, the amateurs are switching to digital media. For the wannabes, sometimes even a phone can improvise a scene, for a piecemealed documentary or indie effort destined for Netflix or even just YouTube.

I am determined not to talk too much about my film. In a situation like this, it can get to be all talk and no action. Plus, I have been collecting footage for years. It started back in 2003. After a while, it gets to be old news. My love letter to a place called Drummond Island. My story about a horse named Clifford. How an equine changes from a sassy, crooked-legged runt to a road warrior who goes into classrooms and helps disabled kids.

And the answer to the greatest mystery: How you prevent a horse from pooping indoors.

So I quietly keep accumulating footage and time passes. I write the treatment, gather the interviews, working with one cinematographer after another. I have hours and hours of footage. Most of it is collected on a single external hard drive.

I am ready to progress into the editing phase. I know how to use the software. The issue is getting a computer that can handle the job. It has to be able to accommodate a really big file. Unfortunately, my work horse laptop has died. I have to find the replacement, but I can only afford a refurb: One that has been used and revamped. I want a Dell, like my old one. It is equipped to handle the editing process. So I get a decent discount through a Groupon offer. My old one was pink. This time I order a purple one. I get it for about a third of what I paid for my old one. I am on Cloud Nine!

The day it arrives is a great day. Finally I can begin the painstaking process of piecing together this culmination of years. I plug the hard drive into the new purple laptop. The computer sends me a signal that not one of the USB ports on this computer is functioning.

What follows is an excruciating series of episodes intended to solve the problem. Well, is there a problem with the hard drive? No. It’s the computer. There isn’t a single USB that this laptop recognizes.

I call Dell. They are sorry, even though Groupon has claimed this computer comes with a warranty, Dell does not honor the warranty because the computer is used.

A friend loans me a computer. Before I purchase the editing software, I try the free trial period offered through the site. When I attempt a sample edit, the computer makes a coughing, dying whirring sound, like the Millenium Falcon when there’s a malfunction in the hyperdrive.

I will spare further details about the various glitches in the series of computers. Suffice it to say that I am now on my fifth laptop in an attempt to begin the edit. This one is making me suspicious because even though it is brand new, it is a cheaper version of a more heavy-duty machine. It currently is not recognizing Word documents unless I load them through a flash drive. At least the USB works.

Time will tell.

It appears that with computers, you get what you pay for. In trying to do a big job, you really shouldn’t skimp on your tools. However, for some of us, there just isn’t a whole lot of choice. So, we do what it takes, knowing that no matter how much time passes, we will prevail.

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Timid Puppy Day 4 – Teaching “Roll Over”

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“Roll over” is a great confidence builder for shy puppies as puts them in a vulnerable position for a moment — but nothing bad happens — and they recover on their own steam.

It is very easy to teach using the method of food luring. To begin with, start with the pup in a lying down position and use the food to guide the head backwards. This will throw the body off balance and pull it over on its shoulder. As the pup flops onto her side, continue to guide the head and then reinforce (with praise or a click) when she is on her back. Allow the puppy to right herself, and then treat.

The great thing about roll over is, as with the spin, you only have to train half the behavior and the dog does the rest on her own.

The roll over is easiest to teach when it is always in the same direction. Therefore, the puppy has to be positioned correctly in order to be successful.

 

Once the behavior is learned, the gesture can be faded to a slight hand cue or verbal cue. While practicing, it is okay to let the puppy have fun and play around. All the excess paw flipping and shenanigans will eventually disappear.

It is worth mentioning, though, that there is some controversy over teaching a dog to roll over, especially among the large breeds. The fear is that it will contribute to bloat or torsion, where the stomach flips. I understand the concern but this has never been my experience. All my dogs learn roll over as a trick and it is one of the first things I teach them. They roll naturally in the yard when on their own anyway.

For more information about puppy training, check out my book, 25 Ways To Raise a Great Puppy.

25 Ways

 

 

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Bailey’s Boot Camp for Dogs – Timid Puppy – Day 3

puppy puppy

The timid puppy is getting less timid all the time, but the confidence- building exercises continue. At times (like at the farm store yesterday) older dogs can come in handy.

One thing that builds confidence in puppies, especially the toy and miniature breeds (because people tend to coddle and carry them everywhere) is to allow them to walk on their own four feet, and solve problems in their own way.

As example, this puppy did not want to walk up or down the stairs. We fixed this today by allowing my two chihuahuas to show her how it’s done. Here, Jack Johnson provides an example on how to descend. This is the puppy’s third attempt to go down stairs.

Meanwhile, teaching of simple tricks can help the puppy “learn to learn”. Food luring comes in handy for young puppies, as it is the genesis of hand signals. This puppy learns to turn in a simple circle by luring with a treat. The hand acts like a magnet that guides the puppy around.

Eventually, the hand luring is faded into a smaller gesture, and the puppy hopefully has the idea. The food will eventually be faded altogether, and the hand cue can be replaced with a verbal cue.

During these exercises, there will be an increase in focus as the dog watches for the cue. I haven’t been using the clicker because I am having trouble handling the camera and a clicker simultaneously. I am using verbal praise. It really doesn’t matter what I say, since the tone of my voice encourages the pup and she’s getting the food at the end of the behavior.

I will be able to fine-tune this trick with a clicker eventually as it offers a lot more precision for the reinforcement. So I can add perks like having her stay on her hind legs while performing this pirouette, or a sit at the end.

 

For more info on training puppies, check out my book, 25 Ways to Raise a Great Puppy.

25 Ways

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Bailey’s Boot Camp for Dogs – Timid Puppy – Day 2

I’ve always said that people with Golden Retrievers don’t know how easy they have it. These dogs train themselves. Poodles are pretty much the same. I would imagine that a cross between the two would be heaven for a behaviorist.

This puppy is 3 quarters miniature poodle and 1/4 Golden. She’s about eight pounds now and I expect may double that.

She has begun to reveal a playful and lively nature, and is as sweet and cooperative as her breeding suggests.

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Today she overcame the dodging habit although she still has a tendency to back or scramble away when approached. However, she will come to me now when I put my hand down.

We went to the feed store and I bought her a harness and tried that on her. My intent was to walk her into the store, as she had followed me around the house and yard consistently.

But the harness proved to be a big deal. She just planted all four feet. Rather than carry her, or drag her around the store, I employed the help of Til, my border collie.

Sure enough, the prospect of going with another leashed dog did the trick. We walked up and down the store aisles and she had no objection of trotting along with us. She allowed petting by various people and earned a couple of cookies.

Now that she has experienced this, with Til’s help, in the future when she goes alone she will handle it much better.

I am getting the basic socializing and harness/leash stuff out of the way before I start getting too serious about house training and teaching basic obedience or tricks. These first days, I am just letting her be a dog, letting her see that it’s all okay and she is safe.

I wish that more people understood the importance of getting small puppies out of the house. It is so easy to prevent future problems with leash pulling and coming when called. You can prevent dog bites and dog fighting this way. Make the commitment to take your dog out of the house every single day. Have him ride in the car in his crate, every day. Do a leash walk every day. Have him meet three new people a day. Take him through automatic doors and on tile and wood floors and concrete. Take him on stairs and in elevators. Until he is four months old, work hard at it, and you will save yourself so much trouble in the years to come.

25 Ways

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Bailey’s Boot Camp for Dogs – Timid Puppy

It’s puppy season! It’s a busy time for those of us who train puppies, rescue and foster puppies, or who are breeders planning that next litter.

Timid puppies can grow up to be serious problem dogs. They have a tremendous propensity to bite, usually a reactive behavior due to fears and insecurity. Fortunately, timidity in a young puppy is super easy to fix.

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I was given this mini Golden doodle to keep for ten days or so and house train. Unfortunately for the new owners, this puppy likes to race and dodge just out of reach. She doesn’t want to allow herself to be caught.

Rather than just fix it, I decided to journal the process so that others who have similar issues can see some solutions.

  1. First of all, I do not free feed these puppies. I make sure that every bite of food is earned. I carry delicious treats with me when I work with them. A hungry dog is a motivated dog: Use it!

When a puppy is dodgy like this I kind of ignore it for the most part. I don’t do a lot of talking, wheedling or coaxing. I never say the dog’s name. Name recognition is taught as a separate exercise at a later time. A lot of talk is certain death! It is a sure way to condition the dog to ignore your voice.

I just sit calmly and tap the ground with my fingers. As long as the hand is lower than chin level, the puppy feels confident enough to mince toward me.

Naturally, these exercises all have to be performed within a safe and enclosed area. This puppy is very social with other dogs, so her contact with my dogs will be kept to a minimum. I want her to become people-social.

We started off on enclosed deck with solid floor so there would be little distraction. Puppy is pretty hungry.

2) Puppy did so well that I moved her into an area with more stimulus. She is starting to experiment with biting my hand in a play mode. Mostly what she is doing is sucking on my fingers. I am armed with delicious bits of chicken. I haven’t started clicker training yet.

She is very wiggly and excited.

3)  Once we had established a little bond, I started teaching her what the clicker means. This is the first stage of what I call Attention Training.

I click when the puppy makes eye contact or at least looks up toward my face.

This is outlined in my booklet, 25 Ways To Raise a Great Puppy.

4) Our last exercise of the day was to take a walk.

There is a big, enclosed field in the back of the property. Puppies have a strong instinct to follow. So I walk pretty fast and it becomes her job to run to keep up with me. I don’t call her or talk to her or say her name. I just keep moving. Since she is timid, I become the security object and when I stop moving she will sit on my feet.

I can occasionally bend down and give her a treat, and reinforce her for sticking with me. But most puppies at the age of under four months will do this naturally.

Off-leash walking is a tremendous opportunity to instill this “following” mechanism in a dog’s brain. Beginning this type of walking early on can create a dog that will always stay with you, even off leash, who comes when you call, who can be trusted in all situations.

For more information on puppy training, check out my book, 25 Ways To Raise a Great Puppy.

For more information on clicker training, check out 15 Rules for Clicker Training Your Dog.

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Book Sale! The North Side of Down – Excerpt

The true story of two sisters, one with Down syndrome, the misfits in a large, dysfunctional family. When their father dies, the two sisters find their lives quickly unraveling.

The North Side of Down is winner of the 2015 Medallion from the Book Reader’s Appreciation Group.

This work of nonfiction sells for $17, but this week you can get it for under $10.

Order directly through the publisher: https://www.createspace.com/5137551 and enter this discount code:
B78WTGM3
for a whopping $8.00 off the $17.95 list price.
Our lowest price ever!
Sale ends Friday!

North with BRAG

Excerpt:

Polly was Dad’s red-headed niece, and one of his life’s greatest darlings.  She had a perpetual smile that squeezed her eyes into happy slits.  Her hair was a mass of tight curls and she kept it barely contained by pinning it up over her ears.  Her home had always been open to Mom and Dad and Amanda.  Nearly every trip to the Soo, whether it was for groceries, or doctor visits, or any type of business, involved a stop for coffee at Polly’s.  We parked in the alley behind her house and a walked through the yard to her back door, into the homey kitchen peppered with photos of grandchildren. She greeted us with a big grin, and hugs all around.  “How are you, Amanda?  You want some coffee?”

“I’m fine!” Amanda said.  “Yes please!”

Dad sat down and stammered, “I’ve been to – to the doctor.”

“Yes, what did you find out?” Polly was turning away from the counter with a steaming mug, and she set it down in front of Dad.

“They said I have lung cancer.” It was the first time I had heard him say the words, and he gasped, a sharp breath after they came out.  Tears suddenly began streaming down his face.  I felt a cold, stabbing pain go through me; an awful helplessness.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Polly’s eyes immediately flooded.  She came over and quickly embraced him.  “Well, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

Dad took a napkin from her little ceramic holder on the table, and mopped at his face.  He looked calmer, I thought.  As I sat down at her table, I marveled at this woman’s ability to say just the right thing, to offer so much comfort in so few words.

She turned again, with a cup for Amanda, and I saw that her face was reddened, but she was maintaining an anguished smile.  Amanda was steadfast as usual, but her eyes leapt from face to face, assessing every reaction.

Polly cradled her mug, sat down and talked about her grandchildren, and how everyone was spending the fall, and how the little ones were doing in school.  She talked about how Frank would stop in now and then with her favorite donuts from Cedarville.  “They’re just the best.”  She nodded to Amanda. “They have that crispy little edge, eh?  I can’t get enough of ‘em.  It’s a good thing they make ‘em a half hour away or I’d weigh 300 pounds!”

Dad and Amanda laughed.  While I watched, they both relaxed visibly as Polly chatted on about how lawn mowing was over for the season, and how Frank’s grandson was doing in basketball, and how she had seen a late flock of geese flying south, finally, and wasn’t it strange that fall had been so late in coming, this year and last.  She talked about her childhood days on Lime Island with her sisters Bonnie and Maxine, and Dad absorbed this like one who has waited all day for a drink of water.

When we left there and I loaded Dad’s oxygen tank back into the car, I reflected on the gifts of a person who asks for nothing, who has no agenda, who merely offers companionship through small anecdotes.  This, I thought, was heroism in its simplest form.  I thought that anyone should be able to do this.  I thought Polly had the right idea.  There was so much comfort in little things; in normalcy.  It was a good example for me to follow.  Driving past the brown fields and naked trees, we were all feeling grim.  I knew attitude could make all the difference and I was firm in my resolution to meet this head-on.  With this in mind, Amanda and I continued our bickering.

“Way to slop up the coffee, there, Java Sucker,” I said.

Dad laughed.

“You should tell Nancy to stop teasing me, Dad,” Amanda said.

“You should give Amanda a spanking, Dad,” I said.

“You should pull her hair, Dad,” Amanda said.

“You should pop out her eyeballs, Dad.”

“You should run over her with the car, Dad,” Amanda said.

Dad had his customary smile and delivered his line, right on cue.  “You two get along.”

Perhaps as a result of our determination to maintain some semblance of normalcy, Dad was able to recover his sense of humor.  He was trying hard, I thought.  I remembered when he had his biopsy, we had waited an excruciating four hours in radiology pre-op.  I thought we might never get out of that room.  Eventually, we noticed a Black and Decker power drill sitting on a desk in the corner.  Dad nudged me, nodding toward it.  “I hope they’re not gonna operate on me with that!”

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Nerdy Talk About Horse Tricks

Horse tricks are fun, but they have seriously helpful applications.

(As an aside, first of all, I found out too late today that in order to get a proper video, I have to turn my new phone, which I call the Monolith, sideways. Oh well.)

Today I worked with my six year old Morgan, Kerry 7th Gen, on some stuff that I have been developing for awhile.

The important thing about tricks is that it teaches the horse to focus. A well-educated horse will become less reactive, by concentrating on the task at hand. The more a horse learns to learn, the more he is up in his brain and able to disregard stimulus that would otherwise be scary.

But reaching that educated point takes a lot of work. Here is an example of a completely distracted Kerry 7th Gen. He is looking across the street and although he is staying in position as I have asked, he is completely ignoring every other cue.

This is an example of how JR, as we call him, has a long way to go before he “graduates” to a higher level of expectations. By diverting his attention back to me, I am able to get him to perform the trick. Here he breaks the stay, but he responds honestly when I ask him to stop, and when reminded, he picks the whip up.

 

Clifford was watching the training and giving me little reminding nickers that he would perform each trick exactly as he was supposed to.

So, after Jr’s session was over and he was put back out to pasture, I went to Clifford and let him earn a couple of apple wafers.

Did you see how I handed him that apple wafer? It was supposed to be on my flat palm. My bad.

Clifford was too nervous to mimic aggression with the more dominant JR standing right next to him. So, I cut him some slack.

….

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Clifford Rocks the Charlotte Library

Clifford played host to some 60 little kids this morning in Charlotte Community Library. Director Sally L. Seifert, the Children’s and Young Adult Librarian, had seen to it that the place was set up to my specifications: Plenty of room for Clifford to move around, a big table for him to paint on, and a strip of masking tape along the floor as a visual boundary, for the kids to keep their toes back.

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He walked around and did his usual meet-and-greet, singling out a few particular kids with extra attention, maybe blowing in their hair or doing his fake side-swipe nipping motion. He was greeted with screams and laughter.

This crowd was pretty young; most of the kids were under ten years old. We talked about animals and what they like to eat. Clifford answered a lot of questions about his thoughts on the matter. “Do you want a peppermint? Do you want it now, or wait til we get home?”

Clifford Charlotte Library 2017a

He performed some tricks and then painted pictures and signed some copies of his biography, Clifford of Drummond Island.

We finished the program with the usual: A long lineup of posed photos!

This may have been the first time many of the kids had an opportunity to handle a full-sized horse, all by themselves.

We hope to spread the message that animals are sentient beings with likes and dislikes and thoughts of their own, especially about when they should have a snack!

Big THANK YOU to Charlotte Library for having us!

Clifford Charlotte Library 2017b

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Clifford Charlotte Library 2017f

 

 

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Alternative Facts — The Guardianship Takeover

There is a rumor floating around that I am trying to “take over” Amanda’s guardianship.

One of the biggest problems within this family is the constant spreading of “alternative facts.”

However, you need to get your information straight. It’s not really that complicated. I am sure if you concentrate, you will begin to comprehend the difference.

I have never applied for guardianship.

I have petitioned the court, 3 times now, to AMEND the current guardianship to give Amanda more control over her life.

You have labeled yourselves as “victims.”

You are not “victims.” You are all able-bodied adults.

The only “victim” here is Amanda. She is being victimized by the system, and by her current guardian.

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My goal was to change Amanda’s guardianship situation to one of “supported decision-making.”

This would enable Amanda to call and visit her family members without being used as a pawn in someone else’s agenda. That’s right, people! I said, “family members.” Not just me. That means that you too could benefit from this amendment! She would be free to maintain her own relationships, as she has done for 43 years. There is no reason for her to be censored, monitored, shadowed and harassed.

This would also mean that she could call someone for help or to come and pick her up, should she, say, get stuck with some sibling who is behaving badly.

Furthermore, whether her case moves to Arizona or not doesn’t make any difference. Amanda is still entitled to basic human rights no matter where she lives. She may actually be treated better in Arizona courts than she was here. For that, I would be grateful. For the record, I did not object to this transfer when I was asked about it on May 2.

In my petitions I have asked to have the ALTERNATE guardian removed and replaced by myself, which was Amanda’s wish. This is due to past abuse of Amanda by the alternate guardian, which includes but is not limited to threatening her with a foster home, disabling her TV, threatening her physically, yelling, isolating her, involving the police and forcing them to interview her about a day she went to the movies with me, commandeering her finances, and other crazy, dangerous and frightening behaviors.

I have not attempted to replace or remove the PLENARY guardian. (Plenary is a big word, but it means “numero uno” or “primary” guardian.)

This is despite a whole host of issues including, but not limited to, cutting Amanda off and not allowing her to contact her family members for a period of nine months, or visit them on extended trips, despite the fact that she wanted to go and she was welcome.

It saddens me that the plenary guardian has gotten sucked into these same techniques employed by his siblings. But I cannot reverse his descent into that realm. Therefore, as he suggested, my only other option has been to petition the courts.

Remember that when you go low, Amanda and I go high. Our award-winning book, “The North Side of Down” is a pretty good example of what happens when facts need to be clarified. There is documentation to back our facts. Documentation is another big word. It means “written proof.”

North with BRAG

My petitions have been denied all three times, each without the court ever allowing Amanda one word of opinion on the matter.

I just want to clarify this again. If you look at the court documents you can see for yourself how the forms are filled out. You should have been mailed your own copy. (An X or check mark in a box indicates what the petition is about.)

I want it to go on record that, while I do not approve of the way Amanda is being treated, I have NOT EVER filed for guardianship of Amanda.

Yet.

Thanks so much for your fervent concern over the welfare of our sister, Amanda, and me.

I am grateful for the sudden interest in her — since before the death of her parents, she wasn’t the topic of much focus and had plenty of free time to hang out with me. No conflicts then!

Oh, and I am sure you are merely overlooking everything I have done for every one of you. This includes lending you money, shelter, food, clothing, moral support, expensive gifts, and not to mention the years of care and effort I put into my mom and dad and Amanda. But this is probably just an oversight on your part, and the spirit of gratitude actually prevails.

So, you’re welcome.

In the meantime, if you get any more court documents, you should probably look em over and see what boxes are checked before jumping to conclusions. If you can’t understand the documents, might want to run them past the county clerk — or even a grocery store clerk, or maybe even a homeless person on a corner somewhere — and have them explain it to you.

Take care.

http://www.stopguardianabuse.org

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Down Syndrome, Guardianship and the Justice System

Down syndrome, formerly called “Mongolian Idiocy” was named for a physician who described the condition in the 1860’s, Dr. John Langdon Down.

He wrote:

The Mongolian type of idiocy occurs in more than ten per cent of the cases which are presented to me. They are always congenital idiots and never result from accidents after uterine life. They are, for the most part instances of degeneracy arising from tuberculosis in the parents. They have considerable power of imitation, even bordering on being mimics. They are humorous and a lively sense of the ridiculous often colours their mimicry. This faculty of imitation can be cultivated to a very great extent and a practical direction given to the results obtained. They are usually able to speak; the speech is thick and indistinct, but may be improved very greatly by a well directed scheme of tongue gymnastics. The co-ordinating faculty is abnormal, but not so defective that it cannot be strengthened. By systemic training, considerable manipulative power may be obtained.

It’s ironic that the guy’s name was “Down”, and perhaps unfortunate that it wasn’t something like, “John Langdon Self-Empowerment” or as Mark Leach pointed out in his 2013 article, “Dr. Awesome.”

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A person with Down syndrome is certainly the lowest priority in the justice system.

Yesterday was the second hearing allowed me in the attempt to talk to my sister, Amanda. She was being prevented from contacting me through her guardian, our (much) older brother.

For the first time in our lives, Amanda and I went nine months without being allowed to talk!

This was due to a tantrum on the part of her guardian, who was angry because I had the nerve to speak up in protest that he wouldn’t let her visit me in summer 2016 while she was in Michigan for two months.

Because a state of normalcy is just too much to ask.

“I’m the guardian, not you,” he said. “Don’t continue with your old self. Turn over a new leaf.”

After all, I am not one of the Chosen. Not a white gazillionaire with expensive toys and designer clothes and pricey vacations.  Not a rich business owner or trophy wife raising offspring to a life of privilege. Not an avid church member who can rattle off a verse including the source and number. Not a towel-snapping, booze guzzling quipster. Just a struggling artist, visiting schools with an aging horse, choosing my dogs and the woods over family gatherings. (Every time.)

As my ex husband pointed out, I am a nothing. He is an engineer.

But I am Amanda’s blood sister.

Rather than understanding how important this relationship is for Amanda, and prioritizing her needs, he decided to prove a point. After all, Amanda would be just fine without talking to me, right? She doesn’t really “need” to talk to me.

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The guardian does not have the perception to see how much suffering he is causing to the stoic individual who lives in his house; who will not, or cannot, tell him how she feels. The guardian does not see the pain, the never-ending cycle of worry he is causing to me or a host of other people in a community who loves Amanda. He merely feeds into the gleeful, self-righteous hatred ignited by a pack of rabid siblings. He is buoyed by their sickness. Hailed as their hero, he either doesn’t understand how he fails miserably in the reality of Amanda, or he simply doesn’t care.

Speaking of idiocy…

And here begins the distortion of what is plainly true, and right, and fair.

First of all, again, Amanda was not present at her own hearing. The judge did not agree to meet with her privately. This time, she wasn’t even in the state of Michigan. I do not understand how a hearing to benefit a person with a disability can be conducted in this manner.

This is the area where the justice system rules: the veiling of facts, the pretend innocence, “who, me?”  The bag of tricks used as a means to an end, rather than upholding what is reality. I believe this is known as gaslighting.

For instance, during the hearing, Amanda’s court appointed attorney asked me, “Did you give Amanda your phone number? Did you write it down for her?”

Since yes or no answers are all that is permitted,  uhm, yes. Of course.

“Did you give her your address?”

Yes.

So, the point is, if Amanda wanted to contact me, she would. And this is the person who is supposed to be ADVOCATING for her!!

This is the tapdance that will drive an honest person to the farthest reaches of frustration.

We are all advised to attempt to reach agreement with the guardian rather than go to court. And that is sound advice, because the courts will not help a person who has Down syndrome. However, when the guardian refuses to cooperate in a year’s time, then what?

This judge did note that the original order for Amanda’s guardianship included the stipulation that she be allowed to contact family “through phone and internet”. Therefore, he saw no need to amend the guardianship. However, he did not give instructions as to how one is supposed to enforce this stipulation.

I had been blocked from calling Amanda, but the guardian’s attorney told me that I could use the house phone. I asked her for the number. I called the house phone and left a voice mail. Thankfully, Amanda did call me back.

Of course, the helicopter guardian was still hovering around in the background, making sure she didn’t tell me anything they didn’t want me to know. She could not speak freely. I could hear in her voice how stressful that was for her.

And yet, by all accounts, she is just fine. And I did get to talk to her. So what am I complaining about?

And, with the skillful gaslighting technique, the guardian will turn this around and claim that talking to me is stressful for her… Anything rather than admit that he and his wife have done, and continue to do, a terrible wrong.

I am somehow supposed to be grateful for this B.S. and happy that it happened. Well, now I do know she is still alive. I know she has received at least some of my mail, and the gifts I have sent. But she has still sent me furtive messages, asking me not to give up on her.

To know anything about Amanda’s well-being, under these circumstances, is impossible.

This guardian should own up to his mistake. He should admit to wrongdoing on the part of Amanda and me. He should apologize to Amanda, to me, and in fact, everyone who truly cares about her. This will be the first step in healing. Until then, healing is not possible.

https://stopguardianabuse.org/

 

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